


Nothing left

by MiriamMT



Series: Gallavich FanFiction [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Affairs, Break Up, Cheating, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Sad Ian Gallagher, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:03:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT
Summary: Ian is cheating on Mickey.Mickey knows it.One night he finally confronts him about it - will Ian be able to get Mickey back?
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich FanFiction [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551802
Comments: 26
Kudos: 190
Collections: Shameless ▶ Ian Gallagher / Mickey Milkovich





	1. No love for my Love

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter used to be a single one shot.  
> Inspiration: No Love - by Frank Iero 
> 
> No love for my love  
> No glance to steal  
> No thrill from my touch  
> It kills me to feel the ghost  
> Of what we once embraced  
> There's no tell in your face  
> Although I can tell  
> There's no talk on your lips  
> Just the taste of his  
> And the gall it took to boast  
> While you burned our bridges down  
> No kiss and tell  
> No fucks to give, love  
> 24/7, I hate my love for you  
> Yeah, I know how all of this goes  
> Before the words come tumbling out  
> And I've felt the pain that you gave in spade  
> Yeah, I'll cross the distance you aim to create

Ian opened the door to his and Mickeys bedroom as quietly as he could, but it didn't matter since Mickey wasn't asleep anyway, he had waited for him to come home. He pretended to be asleep though, just quickly checked the time, staring up at the glowing lines of the digital clock on the nightstand.  
The time didn't matter either, he knew that it was too late, no matter with what crap the ginger could come up with, he couldn't explain coming home this late. Not that Mickey would believe another word out of his mouth by now.

Mickey knew exactly what was going on with Ian, he knew why he was late, every time he left the house, Mickey knew why and where he would be. He didn't even need to go through his boyfriend's phone or follow him somewhere, he just knew.

He knew it from how his heart hurt when he felt Ian lying down next to him, he knew it from Ian smelling slightly different than usual, he knew it from Ian's weird obsession with small things suddenly - wanting to make the laundry, as if Mickey wouldn't know he tried to hide something; - insisting on going grocery shopping alone, as if Mickey wouldn't know where he was actually going, why he actually needed so long just for a few groceries.

He knew what Ian was doing just from feeling him slowly slipping away. How he lay an inch further away in their bed than usual, how he wasn't obsessed with touching him the whole time anymore, how he didn't insist on having couple time and cuddling, how he didn't annoy him with holding hands and going on dates. Mickey felt him slowly backing off, like a coward, taking tiny steps away from him. Mickey knew it and it was killing him.

When he first got suspicious, he still tried to talk himself out of it, asked Ian a bunch of question about where he was going whenever he left the house.  
Then he would try to drink the thoughts away when the signs got too obvious to push them away while being sober.  
And then he just cried. He didn't know what else to do. He loved Ian, he loved this man with all he had, and he was losing him bit by bit, not being able to do anything against it and having no idea how to deal with it. So, whenever Ian left the house and Mickey knew where he was going, he just cried. He sometimes didn't even notice it, silent tears just started slipping out of his eyes, streaming down his face and there was no stopping to it.

By now he was done with crying. He wasn't sad, he wasn't even angry at Ian - he just felt... empty.  
There were so many emotions he had for Ian, but feeling Ian slowly burning down everything they had just left him with this big void in his chest.

Mickey turned on his back.  
He couldn't live like this forever. He just waited for Ian to break up with him by now - he just waited for him to be honest for the first time in months, but nothing happened. Ian just played pretend and Mickey gave up playing along - something Ian didn't even seem to notice.

"Are you awake?" Ian whispered into the dark, "I didn't want to wake you up, sorry, it got late, was out for a drink with some colleagues."

Mickey just closed his eyes and breathed out of his mouth.  
He was done with this lie by Ian now, all those fucking lies.

"Are you ever going to tell me?" He asked eventually in normal volume voice.  
"Tell you what?" Ian sounded confused.  
"About your other one."

There was a long silence filling the room, it was the loudest silence Mickey had ever experienced.

"Other one? What other... I don't know what you mean..."  
"Just stop." Mickey interrupted Ian's excuse, "Just stop lying, Ian. Just this once."

The Milkovich sat up and switched on the small lamp next to the bed. Ian was blinking against the light and sat up as well.  
The Ginger looked conflicted. He looked guilty and scared, unsure if he should keep lying or follow his boyfriend's request.

"You know?" He mumbled eventually, looking down at his fingers.   
"Yes."  
"For how long already?"  
"Months. Months of you lying and pretending."  
"How did you find out? Did you go through my stuff?"

This was typical Ian. He made the mistake, he was cheating on him, but he immediately tried to turn it around and make Mickey look like the bad guy. But the Milkovich wasn't having it.

"No. I just know. Because I know you."  
Ian swallowed hard.  
"I was waiting for months for you to tell me. I was waiting for you to be honest, but you just kept lying. I have to say, by now I'm almost interested in how long you wanted to keep that act up. Years, maybe?"

Ian had nothing to say. What could he say? There was nothing to make it better, no word that could leave his lips could fix this now.

"So, what... do you want to break up now? Pack your shit and go to him? Because I'm not gonna spend another night with you in this bed if you don't want to be here."

That surprised Ian, now he looked up at him.  
"What... you wouldn't even fight for me?" He asked.  
Mickey raised his eyebrows at him "Why on earth would I fight for you? What is left here that is worth fighting for?"

Mickey could see that those words hurt the other man. They hurt him deeply, and that angered Mickey. Ian had no right to be hurt right now. This was his fault; he had hurt Mickey and had burned their bridges down until nothing connected them anymore - So why would he be fucking hurt now?

"I fought for you, Ian" Mickey stared down at him, "I fought my dad, I fought my insecurities, my fears, my hate against myself. I did everything I could, just so you wouldn't leave me. I always tried to work on myself and on this relationship. Now, you went off and fucked some other guy for months and just lied to me on end, and I'm supposed to fight for you? You aren't someone I would fight for, you aren't someone I would do anything for, not anymore. You're not the Ian I would trust with my damn life, you're just a fucking cheater.", there was no real emotion in his voice, the anger that laced his words, in the beginning, got lost along the way, vanishing in the emptiness that filled his head. He just sounded defeated, because that is what he was.

Ian swallowed hard and tears were escaping his eyes. He tried to rub them away with the back of his hand.

"So, you would just throw me out? Just let me leave? After all of this?"  
"You are the one who ruined it, Ian." He said with a steady voice, "It was you, not me. No one but you. You cheated for months, not me. I didn't lie to you every time I opened my mouth, you did. Why isn't it time that you fight for me? Or am I not worth fighting for?"

"Of course, you are worth fighting for Mick, I-"  
"You're lying again" Mickey interrupted him, "You just can't stop, can you? If I would mean anything to you, if this relationship would be somewhat important to you, you wouldn't have done it. We are not talking about you fucking someone else once and regretting it here. You are having an affair for a fucking long time already. And never had you the decency, to be honest with me. In your eyes, I don't deserve a little honesty after almost ten years of fighting for you. And even now you don't have an explanation, you don't even apologize. You are just mad, that I'm not willing to fight for a lost cause anymore."

More tears were steaming out of Ian's eyes.  
"I'm sorry" he sobbed finally, "I'm sorry, Mickey. I'm so fucking sorry for everything... I... I know I'll never be able to make it up to you or even apologize enough, but I'm really so sorry, fuck..."

Mickey just looked coldly at the crying man. He felt no joy watching him breaking down in front of him, he felt not all too much really.

"Are you going to leave now?" Mickey just asked when Ian's sobs had quiet down a bit again.  
"I don't want to leave, Mickey, don't make me leave" he moved closer on the bed, begging him, "Isn't there any way to fix this? I swear, I stop seeing him, I swear, I'll fight for you and all of this, but I don't want to break up, I don't want to lose you. And I'm not lying with this, Mick!"

"How am I supposed to believe another fucking word you say, Ian? How? With every day you kept this affair going, you broke us apart. You are distant, you are unemotional, you are cold. You don't want this relationship anymore and we both know it. You're tired of fucking the same person, spending time with the same person, being with the same person for years. You're slowly slipping away, you looked for someone else because you don't want me anymore. You're just holding on to it because it's what you know, what is familiar. But I'm not supposed to be your back up plan if things with the other guy go south. I'm supposed to be your number one because you sure as hell are mine. I'm not more than your roommate anymore. And you can't fix this, we have nothing left to fix, Ian. It's all gone. You took it away from us. And I don't... I don't want to be in one room with you for another second."

Ian cried even harder now.  
He pretty much was on his knees, begging Mickey for forgiveness, but for Mickey, there was nothing to beg for. What was he supposed to forgive, to where was he supposed to take him back? There was nothing connecting them anymore.

He heard his cries and pleas, and it did nothing to him. He just looked at the crying man and shook his head.  
"Just go. We both know it's what you want. Go to him. If you would have really wanted it any other way, you wouldn't have started it with him."

It ended with Ian having no other choice than to grab his clothes from the ground, while his boyfriend forced him out of their house.  
He closed the door behind Ian and the ginger stood in the middle of the night in the snow outside his home.

He couldn't stay out here. He couldn't go back in.  
He just had to places two go to: the man he ruined his relationship with, or his brother.  
He made his way to Lips apartment.


	2. Absolutely nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after Mickey threw Ian out, the Gallagher hid in Lips apartment. He realises what he lost, what he ruined and for what reason

Ian lay in Lip's bed for three days without moving.  
Lip slept on the couch so his little brother could rest.

The Ginger had been staring at his phone the whole time, typing messages for Mickey just to delete them in the end.  
At some point, Lip was fed up with that and forced Ian to send one of the many love declarations, apologies and explanations - Just to notice that Mickey had blocked his number and wouldn't get the text anyways.

After three days, Mickey lifted the block just long enough to write a quick message before blocking him again.

Mickey💕: You can get your stuff whenever. I got everything together and put it into boxes.

Ian started crying more again at the words. Lip could just watch his brother breaking down, he had no idea what to do, he didn't even know what happened. Ian hadn't been able to tell him, he just cried and slept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey opened the front door, rather surprised when he saw Lip Gallagher standing in front of him.

"Hey Mickey... I uh, came to get Ian's stuff, I guess..."  
Mickey shrugged and let him inside.  
"It's all there" he pointed to some boxes and a suitcase that stood near the door "You can text me if something is missing, but it should be all."

Mickey sat down on the couch and lit a cigarette, Lip looked around, noticing the empty beer cans on the ground and various bottles with dark liquid standing around everywhere.  
He was almost tempted to ask, if Mickey had a party, but he knew this hadn't been a party, this was the home of a heartbroken man.

"Mickey... can I ask you something?" Lip came closer, not quite daring to sit down too.  
"Sure. But make it quick. I've got stuff to do."  
Lip could tell that it was a lie, he just wanted Lip out of the house.

"What happened? Ian couldn't even tell me, he just appeared on my doorstep at 2 in the morning crying like crazy, chanting that he ruined everything and that he fucked up."  
"So, you know what happened. Ain't my fault he comes home so damn late, otherwise he would have turned up at your place sooner"

"What did he do? I mean, come on, you guys are together for years, you made it against all odds, now you're just throwing it away? That's not like you."

"I didn't throw anything away. Ian did. He didn't throw either, he just took everything away bit by bit until there was nothing left."  
"What is the difference?"  
Mickey looked at him, then at the cigarette "It hurts more. It's pure torture."

Lip decided to sit down next to the Milkovich, who took a drag from the cigarette.  
"He cheated on me" he finally said "For at least 6 months, because I know about it for 6 months, but it could've been longer though."

"Cheated on you? Ian? No, no he would never..."  
"Well, he did. I'm actually surprised, you turned up on my doorstep, thought he would go to him, wanted to finally see his face." He mumbled.

Lip swallowed hard.  
"If you count everything together, from the first hook up onwards, we had been doing this for ten years. Ten years... And when I confronted him about cheating on me, do you know what his first reaction was? His first reaction was to accuse me of going through his stuff." He shook his head.

"Well, did you?"  
"He cheated on me for months, so even if I would have checked his phone for evidence, that doesn't really compare to him lying to my face every time he opened his stupid mouth." He took another drag from the cigarette, his fingers were shaking slightly, "But I didn't. I just knew it... Because I know him. I know him better than that other guy ever will. I love him more than anyone ever will. And yet... that wasn't fucking enough. And then he was angry and hurt, because I wasn't willing to fight for a man who put me through hell the last six months."

"Fuck" Lip mumbled "I'm so sorry, Mick. When Ian turned up on my doorstep and said you kicked him out, I was close to driving up here and punch you for hurting my brother.... But I'm sorry my brother hurt you."

Mickey shrugged, he didn't need Lips pity or condolences. He just needed every Gallagher to vanish from his life.

"Do you still love him?"  
Mickey shrugged "I'm not exactly feeling all too much in general. But you're not here to talk about my fucking feelings with me. That's what Ian should have done at some point in the last months."  
"I think, you still love him. Somewhere deep down, beneath all the pain of this situation. And he still loves you."

Mickey shook his head "You're wrong. He doesn't love me. You can tell yourself whatever you want, and he can tell himself whatever he wants. But he doesn't love me anymore. He wouldn't have done what he did if he would. You don't cheat on someone you love; you don't lie to their face all the time. Do you know what you do if you love someone? You notice it when their behaviour is slightly different, you notice it when they're slipping away from you. Ian was so stupid to think he could cheat on me without me noticing, because he didn't notice me changing either.", he took one of the beer cans on the table and chugged it down.

"Isn't there any way to fix this? You've been together for... If you want to count it like this, ten fucking years. I know this isn't some small mistake that can be handled with some flowers and nice words. But isn't there any hope? If he would fight for this relationship, couldn't you give him another chance?"

Mickey shook his head. "The times I ran after him, the time he was irresistible to me, they're over. I'm done. There is nothing left to fight for, Lip. Why can't either of you understand that? You can only fix something if you got some stable remains that you can just glue together. We got nothing more than a faint past in blood stained memories."

"You get poetic when you drink"  
Mickey shrugged "I read a lot of bad books about cheaters, while Ian was busy sticking his dick up someone else's ass. I'm just an unloved, bitter ex-wife now, whose husband ran off with a cheap whore, and I'm going to die alone. No biggie.", he took one of the bottles and sipped on the expensive remains of alcohol.

"You're not going to die alone, Mick."  
"Yeah, I will, but it's okay, it's not so bad. I've been alone the past six months, I'll be fine. And so will Ian. He can cry as long as he feels it to be appropriate and then go to his boy toy. Who is younger and prettier than me... And probably blond and stupid."  
"That's daytime TV not books"  
"Okay, maybe I just read one book before I remembered that Tv's exist."

They sat in silence for a while.  
"Well, you should go, I guess. Take his stuff, tell him I said good luck with his new boyfriend."  
"Really? You wish them good luck?"  
"Good luck at dying a slow painful death, yeah." Mickey mumbled.

Lip nodded and got up.  
He started carrying the boxes with his brother's stuff to his car.  
"I feel like I have to say something" Lip said when he took the suitcase as last piece "Like, you can call me or whatever... or I wish you would've become my brother in law and I wished it would have worked out with the two of you..."

"You don't have to say anything; you shouldn't say anything. It's over. And I wish I would've never met Ian and get involved with your family."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Lip came home, Ian was in the kitchen, a progress compared to the last week of just standing up twice a day to go to the bathroom.

"Hey Ian, how are you feeling?"  
Ian turned around to him and saw the boxes and the suitcase Lip pushed over the floor.  
"He really put all my stuff in boxes? Just like that?" He came over and fell down to his knees in front of a box and opened it.

Lip saw how Ian started shaking and tears started spilling out of his eyes again.  
"It's not only my stuff... It's our stuff. Look at that... fucking photographs... He didn't want to keep anything that reminded him of me... of us... not even the fucking frames..." his voice died down.

Lip pulled him away from the box and to the couch, where the ginger curled up in a pitiful ball of self-hate.  
"I talked to Mickey, Ian. Even though you're my brother and I'm on your side no matter what... I really have a hard time feeling sorry for you right now, man. Did you really cheat on Mickey? For over six months?"

Ian sobbed "Yes" he finally breathed out.  
"But why? What on earth could another man give you that Mickey didn't already give you? Come on, stop crying. Fucking explain it... If you cheat on him for such a long time, maybe Mickey was right. Maybe you don't actually love him anymore, but then why are you crying nonstop?"

Ian sat up and rubbed over his face with his sleeves.  
"Stop saying that I don't love him. I love him, more than anything in the world."  
Lip shook his head "Why on earth did you start an affair then?"

"I just..." He looked away from his brother, to the boxes "I don't know. The past months I didn't know what I was doing, why I was doing it. I know this guy because I occasionally see him through my job, he always flirted with me, but I wasn't interested because I had Mickey... What else could I want, right? I actually... all those months ago I wanted to propose to him."

Lip raised his eyebrows.  
"How do you get from proposing to cheating?"  
"I was in a gay bar, trying to work out how to ask Mickey to marry me, I had a couple of drinks to calm my nerves, because I wanted to ask him that night. Then... Caleb... his name is Caleb, he showed up. We were friends, so he sat down with me, I talked about Mickey and my plans and we had some more drinks, way more drinks, he is a fun person, you can easily spend time with him and get drunk. And he kept flirting.... I don't know... We somehow ended up fucking in his apartment. I don't know how it happened.... When I got home, Mickey had already been asleep. I felt awful... I felt really awful, because that man is perfection and I know it, and I cheated on him though. I thought about telling him many times, maybe he would have forgiven me if I would've told him then. But I didn't. Instead I went back to Caleb. I was so stressed with the proposal and work and everything... Caleb took my mind off of things. Every time I went there, I promised I wouldn't do it again - but I did. Again, and again, until I didn't think about it anymore, until it was normality to sneak out of the house, make up excuses just to see him. I don't love that man; I don't have any feelings for him. I ruined by relationship and possible future for... absolutely nothing."

Lip sighed.  
"That's even worse than I imagined, Ian. If you would have fallen in love with someone else, that would be bullshit, but it would be better than burning it all down for nothing."

"Do you... do you think there is any way Mickey would take me back? Ever?"  
Lip licked his bottom lip, "Do you really want to hear the answer to that? The way he talked about it, there is nothing you can do. There is nothing left between the two of you, in his eyes. You can't fix this. I'm sorry Ian. The only thing you can do now is... starting over, I guess. You are only 25, you'll find someone else."

"I don't want someone else. You know what this reminds me of? When I... When I ran away with mom after Terry caught us and made Mickey marry this Svetlana.... after I came back, he suddenly was willing to fight his dad just so I wouldn't leave again. I asked him why, and he said, that he had to lose me this once to see that he couldn't live without me and that he would do everything in this world to make sure I never leave again. Now... I now understand what he meant... now that he is gone, I just really know what I had. And I'm never going to get that back.... how am I supposed to live with this knowledge, Lip? How am I supposed to live knowing that I had everything I could dream of and I ruined it?"

He cried harder and stared at the boxes when a thought crossed his mind.  
With shaking hands, he walked over and looked through the box he had opened again.

"What are you doing, man? This only hurts you more, stop." Lip sighed.  
But Ian kept looking through the boxes, when he couldn't find what he was looking for in the first one.  
He eventually found it in the third box.

He sat on the ground and pulled a small black box out of the carton.  
"Is that... is that the ring?" Lip asked.  
Ian nodded "He must have found it when he got my stuff together. Can you imagine what he must've thought when he found this? Imagine you're going through your ex boyfriend's stuff who cheated on you for months and you find a fucking ring in his stuff..."

"From what he was like when I saw him, he probably thought it was for this Caleb guy anyways" Lip mumbled.  
Ian shook his head "there is an engraving. Ian heart Mickey forever. Not very original I know, but I thought it was cute at the time."

Ian opened the box. The small ring seemed to mock him when he opened the box and he wondered if it had mocked Mickey too, but he noticed a small piece of paper in it. He pulled it out to read the words that were clearly written by Mickey.

**_Never. Fuck you._ **

Ian just sobbed violently again and closed the ring box. He stood up and slowly went back to Lips bed, holding the engagement ring and Mickeys answer clutched tightly in his shaking hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took Ian another few days to get his ass up and leave Lips apartment freshly showered and with new clothes.

Mickey had still blocked his number, turned out he had also blocked all the other Gallaghers, after they all tried to persuade him to take Ian back.  
Mickey seemed to be done with him for good.

Ian took a deep breath; Lip was by his side to make sure Ian actually did what he came to do.  
"Thanks for helping me, Lip" Ian mumbled.  
"Don't mention it, I just want my bed back.", he said but Ian knew he helped him, because he wanted him to be happy, no matter what he had to do for that, "So, will you fucking knock or what?"  
"Could you?"

Lip nodded and knocked on the apartment door.  
It didn't took long until a tall, black guy opened.  
For some reason, Lip had Mickeys description of a stupid blond Bitch in his head when he imagined Caleb, but the firefighter didn't look like that at all.

"Ian, hey, I didn't hear from you for almost two weeks, I was worried" he grinned and then noticed Lip.  
"Uhm, Caleb this is my brother Lip, Lip, Caleb."  
Lip just nodded in his direction.

"Okay, do you want to come in?"  
"Sure-"  
"No" Lip interrupted.  
"No?" Ian mumbled.  
Lip shook his head and Ian took a deep breath.

"Is everything alright, Ian? Did something happen?"  
"Yeah... yeah something happened... Mickey found out about... this.... actually, he knew the whole time." He swallowed hard, "He... He broke up with me."

Ian pressed his lips together.  
"Oh" Caleb mumbled and looked from Lip to Ian, "I mean, that's... at least we can be together now, right? No more hiding..."

Lip crossed his arms in front of his chest and shot Ian a look.  
"No" Ian cleared his throat and looked at Caleb, "I came here to tell you that it's over. Once and for all. I ruined the best thing I ever had just to fuck you a few times. It's not gonna happen again, I'm not gonna see you again, ever. I deleted your number out of my phone and blocked it before that. I don't want you to contact me or anyone I know ever again."

Lip nodded and stared Caleb down coldly.  
"Sorry, what? Ian... But I thought-"  
"You thought wrong. I should have never started an affair with you, I should have never fucked you, hell, I should have stopped talking to you when you wouldn't stop flirting even though you knew, I had a boyfriend."

Ian sighed.  
"I'm sorry, Caleb. But it's over."  
Lip nodded and quickly pulled Ian away from the door before the other man could say anything else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey sat on a bar stool in the Alibi.  
Kev poured him a new drink.  
"Hey man, I heard about you and Ian... drinks are on the house."  
Mickey just shrugged.  
"I can't believe it, I always thought you two would really make it, to the end. Even have some kind of double grave thing or share a box in some kitchen. And now... this is just it? I knew Ian since he was a child, can't believe he would cheat on you, man. I'm so sorry, really. Lip told us by the way, Ian is living with him for now, maybe he's gonna move back into the Gallagher house, they haven't figured out the details yet-"  
"Kevin?" Mickey interrupted the bartender.  
"Yeah buddy?"  
"Just fuck off, please. I really have no interest in talking about any fucking Gallagher right now."

Kevin just nodded and went to the other side of the bar.  
Mickey stared at the liquid in the glass in front of him, he probably looked pathetic, but he didn't even care right now.

Suddenly the door to the bar was opened loudly and an angry man came in.  
"I'm looking for Mickey Milkovich!" He yelled.

The people in the bar liked Mickey and no one was a fucking snitch, neither a coward who would be intimidated by the guy.

"Here" Mickey raised his arm boredly, finally deciding to sip on the whiskey. He tried to remember which drink it was.... number four, five, six...

"You, it's all your fault!" The angry man came over to him. Kevin came closer with caution.  
"You want to blame me for something? Get to the end of the fucking line. Everything's always my fault. I wonder when people are blaming fucking second world war on me too" he mumbled and sipped on his drink again.

"I'm Caleb" he stated, still loud, still angry, Mickey still couldn't care less.  
"And? I don't know a Caleb. And I don't want to, fuck off" Mickey had his glass in his hand and pointed at the door.

"I'm Ian's lover" he finally explained with a smug undertone to his voice.  
Mickey looked at him with the same cold, emotionless expression, but his hand clasped around the glass so tightly, that it suddenly broke into many small pieces, the liquid splashing everywhere.

No one dared to come near them, even though Veronica wanted to clean up the mess and Kevin wanted to get Caleb out of here as quick as possible, but the anger that slowly found its way on Mickeys face, stopped everyone from moving.

Kevin just quickly got his phone out to text Ian.

Kevin: Mickey and some Caleb guy are in the bar - probably going to kill each other - come here asap

"You are different than I imagined" Mickey just said, his voice dangerously calm and cold.  
"I don't know what you imagined, and I don't care."  
"Why are you here? Try to rub in that you have Ian for yourself now? Have fun with him, I'm done with that guy."

"I don't have Ian. He broke up with me this morning, And that's your fault!"  
"How the fuck is that my fault? Your fucking affair with my ex-boyfriend isn't my responsibility! He didn't even tell me he fucked you himself, so how is it my fault, the one Ian cheated on, that he broke up with you, the one he cheated with?"

"You kicked him out, so he feels bad about the affair!"  
"Good! He fucking should feel bad because he fucked someone else! What was I supposed to do, sit it out until he left me for you on his own, I waited for him to do that, and it didn't happen. I don't care if he is with you, you fucked up idiot! How dare you to come here and blame me that my ex dumps you? I swear to fucking hell, if you don't leave right now, I'm gonna chop your dick off and shove it so far up your ass, you can give yourself a blowjob!"

"You think you can scare me? Threat me? Look at you, you have no chance against me, you-"  
"Enough!" A voice yelled through the bar suddenly.  
All heads turned around to the door, except Mickeys, he didn't need to look, he would recognise this voice everywhere.

Ian came over to them.  
"The fuck are you doing here, Caleb? Wasn't I fucking clear? I said, don't contact me or anyone I know ever again! That was just 10 hours ago!"

"Come on Ian, do you really think he would take you back just because you break up with me?"  
Mickey looked at Ian and Caleb, how they stood next to each other, facing each other. Mickey had the horrible picture of Ian fucking this guy in front of him, how he fucked him while Mickey waited at home, staring at a clock, knowing what he was doing.

He took his jackets and quickly got up from his stool.  
"He doesn't care about you anymore! I do!" Caleb argued but Ian just shook his head and looked after Mickey who was leaving the bar as quickly as possible.

"Mick, wait!", he called after him and glared at Caleb, "Fuck off, Caleb! I don't want you in my life anymore! Don't come near Mickey ever again, don't you fucking dare!"

Ian ran after Mickey, he didn't need long to get to him, given that he had stopped just an alley from the Alibi to throw up.

"Mickey?" Ian asked softly, the man spit on the ground and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Fuck off Gallagher" he just mumbled before making his way down the street to get home.  
"Mickey, please, let me at least bring you home. Your hand is injured!"  
"What do you care, go home."

"I can't! You kicked me out of our home, Mick. That's my home, that's where I'm supposed to be, not at Lip's or Fiona's."  
"It sure as fuck ain't where you're supposed to be right now. Let me the fuck alone!"

"No, Mick please. Hear me out!"  
"There is nothing you could say that I'm willing to listen to."  
Mickey moved faster, but Ian had longer legs and didn't just throw up, so he had no problem keeping up with him.

"Mick!" Ian was suddenly in front of him and grabbed his arms, "Please stop"  
"Don't touch me" He said almost too calmly.  
"Only if you stop trying to run away from me."  
"Don't fucking touch me!", he said anger filling his voice.  
"No, Mickey, I-"

Mickey ripped his arms out of Ian's grip and moved quickly but forcefully, and suddenly had Ian pressed against a wall.  
"I said, take your dirty fucking fingers away from me, you fucking slut"

Ian looked at him, his breath going quick, he would lie if he would say, that he wouldn't be at least a bit afraid Mickey would crack his skull on the pavement next - He had enough reason for that.

"Okay, I'm sorry" he held his hands up in surrender. Mickey let go off him and started walking down the street again.

Ian took a deep breath before walking up to him again.  
"I'm not gonna let you go without a fight"  
"God, what is your obsession with this fighting about? We shouldn't need to fight for each other anymore, we're not teenagers anymore Ian! Just accept that it's over!"

"How am I supposed to just accept that?"  
"Because it's your fucking fault! How often do I have to say that? It's over because you took everything I loved and everything that was important to me, everything you meant to me, and you threw it away. For a guy, that says it's my fault that you ended things with him. You have to accept it's over, because there is no going back, you can't undo what you did! You have to just fucking accept it, because you were the one, who left me to fuck this guy. If not physically left, then sure as hell emotionally. And I'm done."

"You fought for me a million times! I said I'm done with you, and you knew I wasn't, so you didn't let me go. Now I'm going to fight."

"Yeah, but I'm actually done. And right now, there are only a few things I regret more than always running after you. Look where it got me."

They finally reached Mickeys house.  
"Can I ask you something?" He said desperately when Mickey started climbing the stairs to the front porch.  
"What?"  
"If you knew the whole time, all six months, why didn't you ever say something?"

Mickey shrugged "Because it isn't my job to tell me that my boyfriend has an affair. It's not my responsibility to make you confess to me. You should have just been honest, Ian. I just waited for you to finally admit it. But you didn't. And from all the things that you did, that hurt the fucking most. You lied straight to my face over and over. I never lied to you. Never, not once, in ten years. Maybe I didn't tell you right away how I felt about you, but we were kids. You are a grown ass man and you couldn't just tell me, that you have an affair. You just lied."

Mickey got his keys out for the door.  
"I'll never lie to you again" Ian begged him "I swear, I will always be honest with you, Mick. I would do anything, so you forgive me! Or even if you can never forgive me, I just want to make it right, I can't live knowing I've disappointed you so much! I love you..."

Mickey sighed "I don't want you to make anything right, or up to me. I'm not gonna give in, alone the thought of you touching that guy instead of me, kissing him while I'm waiting for you at home, makes me throw up. You can say that you love me all you want, maybe it's even true, even though I doubt that. But the thing is..." He shook his head "I don't love you anymore. I don't know who you are anymore. You're not the Ian I used to know, used to love. Because that man had his flaws and made mistakes, but he would have never done what you did. I just want you to go, Ian. I want you to leave me alone, just vanish out of my fucking life. Can't you do that? Can't you do what I want even though it goes against your interest this once? Am I really asking for too fucking much?"

Ian looked down, tears streaming down his face again, he stood at the end of the few stairs to the porch, Mickey stood in front of the door.  
The Ginger let out a shaky breath.

"Okay... if... If it's that what you want... I'll leave you alone... But... If you ever change your mind... I'm ready to prove to you that I really love you and am really sorry and I just wish I could turn back time a bit."

Mickey just nodded, knowing that he would never change his mind. Knowing that he had to live his life without Ian from now on, that he probably had to look for another bar too, definitely a new apartment, he couldn't stay in their house, even though it used to be his house before.

"I wanted to propose to you" Ian said suddenly, sadness filled his voice, "Bevor I gave in to Caleb for the first time. I wanted to ask you to marry me"

Mickey nodded "I know. And I would've said yes.", tears started to form in his eyes now, so he just quickly unlocked the door and went inside.


	3. Happy Birthday Mick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 1/2 years since the break up.  
> Mickey left Chicago after his break up with Ian because he couldn't stay with all the memories. Ian still waits for him to come back and for his chance to make it right.

Ian walked past the Milkovich house, like every day. It was still dark, still vacant, the grass was growing higher and higher.  
It was summer again, one and a half years since Mickey had left him, left the house, the south side.

Ian stopped and stared up to the house. It used to be their house, their home, before Ian had wracked it.  
He slowly walked up the steps to the front porch and looked inside through the windows. Dark, left, lonely.

Ian licked his lips and got his keys out, he would sometimes still come here, just walk through the rooms, remembering the life he had and could have.  
Today he seemed to be even more drawn to the old building than usual.

He opened the door and walked through the cold halls.  
He let his hands wander over the soft sofa, the counter tops in the kitchen, he could still picture Mickey standing by the stove, cooking.  
He walked into the bedroom, the bed they used to share. The bed Mickey confronted him in, broke up with him.

He had so many good memories about this house and those few fucking bad ones.  
He walked over to the closet and opened it; Mickey had left just a few clothes here when he had left. Ian would sometimes take them out of the closet, smell them, imagine he would still be here.

His fingers ghosted over the fabric that didn't really smell like Mickey anymore.  
"Happy birthday Mick" he mumbled.

Ian closed the closet again and sighed.  
He left the house again, locked the door and walked the rest of the way home.

Ian didn't know where Mickey was, where he had gone to, he just knew he wasn't there anymore. And he knew he still had his number blocked.

Ian opened the door to his apartment. It wasn't much but Ian liked it. His siblings hated coming here, because it looked like a shrine to Ian and Mickeys relationship. All the pictures Mickey had given him back, Ian had put them all up, some were hanging on the walls, others stood on bookshelves and on the coffee table, his favourite picture stood on the bedside table. Anyone who didn't know him, would think Ian lived here with his boyfriend. Ian sometimes liked to pretend Mickey lived here with him.

The Ginger took his shoes off and neatly put his jacket away.  
He made himself a quick snack before sitting down on The couch. He used a colleagues Netflix and just settled to watch Brokelyn99 tonight, when his phone vibrated on the coffee table.  
He lazily took the smartphone and checked his messages.

 **Kevin** : Mickey. Bar. Now.

Ian stared at the screen.  
Mickey? Mickey was down at the bar? No one had seen the Milkovich in the past year, no one even knew if he was still in Chicago, the Gallaghers had even called Mandy several times for information, but she kept her mouth shut about her brother.

Now Mickey was supposed to be down at the bar?  
Was this some sick joke? No, Kevin wouldn't do that. Maybe some of the drunks stole his phone. But would they really be so cruel to make him believe Mickey would be back and down at the bar? Especially today?  
Why would Mickey even go there of all places?

 **Kevin** : no joke!!!! You on your way? Might leave soon!!!!!!

Ian gathered from the short sentences and usage of multiple exclamation points that Kevin texted him quickly and secretly.  
This wasn't a joke; this was probably real!

Ian was on his feet in a split second, he shut the TV off while forcing his feet into his shoes and taking his jacket, grabbing his keys and running out of the apartment.

He didn't live far from the Alibi, but running would take too long though, he quickly flagged down a cab, that would bring him there.

The Ginger stormed towards the bar but stopped before opening the door.  
What if Mickey really was here but didn't want to see him? What if he moved on? Had someone new? What if he would just tell him again, that he didn't love him anymore, that he still didn't want him back.

The last time hurt so fucking much, but he had promised to fight for this. Even though he had to put the fight at hold for one and a half years due to Mickeys disappearence, he would have to fight now. He lived alone in a tiny apartment that was stuffed with memories of a past relationship and he ghosted way too often through his old house, bathing in memories and dreams of what could have been.

He opened the door to the bar. There weren't many people in, it was Tuesday night.

And there he sat, on his usual spot at the bar, talking to his brother Iggy, having a beer, Kevin was with them, laughing at something Mickey said.

Kevin was the first one to notice Ian. He looked at him, rather conflicted, which lead to Mickey also turning around slightly confused. His eyes fell on Ian and his smile dropped suddenly - Ian never thought that he would ever have this effect on the other man.

"Well, you're a damn snitch, Kev" Iggy said, "Guess it's time to go home"  
Iggy got up and when Mickey didn't move, he was still busy staring at Ian, the older Milkovich put himself between the two.  
"Mickey? Let's go to mine. At least there aren't snitching bartenders" he glared at Kevin.

"Calm your ass, Iggy. He at least deserved to know he was here. I won't apologize for that"  
Iggy shook his head and pulled Mickey up from the bar stool.   
"I can walk on my fucking own, Ig!" 

Iggy just shrugged and left the bar, glaring at Ian while passing him.  
Mickey eventually sighed and went after him.

"Mick-" Ian started when Mickey was almost out of the door again. The Milkovich stopped.  
"What?"  
Ian swallowed, "Happy birthday?" he mumbled.  
Mickey nodded "Thanks"

They stood there at the door, looking at each other longingly.  
"Where have you been?"  
Mickey shrugged "Here and there."  
"Are you coming back?"  
Mickey paused for a longer time "I'm just here because Iggy asked me to come over for my birthday. He can't leave the city right now... parol stuff."

Ian nodded. Mickey stepped out of the door, but Ian followed him.  
"I could walk you home" he said quickly "Or something... talk..." 

"Man, get lost, alright?" Iggy interrupted them, "We just want to get wasted, we don't need your cheating liar ass for that!"  
"Iggy shut up" Mickey snapped at him, "Go home, I'll be right behind you in a minute."

Iggy glared at Ian again before wandering off.  
"If I would say fuck off, would you do it or can I save my breath on that one?"  
Ian swallowed hard "Please don't send me away Mick... Let us talk just for the way... or let me talk, or you can just talk, I don't care either way."

Mickey sighed and nodded he led the way, Ian smiled and was by his side immediately.  
"You look good" Ian mumbled.  
"It's dark."  
"I just saw you in the bar. And you always look good."

Mickey shook his head, almost being amused.  
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Ian was afraid to ask the question, but he was asking himself that for months now.  
"No. Tried to date a bit, but apparently I have some serious _trust issues_ I need to work out."  
"Oh" Ian mumbled.

They walked a few steps in silence.   
"For how long will you stay?"  
"Not long, maybe I'll leave tomorrow, maybe next week, depends on when I grow sick of Iggy again."  
"The old house is still there... You could just... go there."  
"Yeah, I also could pay a kid to kick me in the nuts repeatedly, but I'm not doing that either."

Ian nodded, they kept walking in silence. Ian had so many questions on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't know if he should ask anything of it.  
It was unreal how many emotions went through him at this moment. He wanted nothing more than to be close to Mickey and just keep walking next to him, but he had to say so many things.

"Are you happy?", he asked eventually, quietly.   
Mickey stopped walking and faced him instead. He looked at him for a moment, they were standing under a streetlight, so Ian was able to see the empty look on his face.  
"No", he shrugged.  
Ian swallowed hard, "Me neither... I miss you.", Mickey just looked at him, "Did you ever think about me?"   
Mickey shrugged again, "A lot."  
"Something other than me screwing up and you being angry with me?"   
"Sometimes, yes." 

"You know... when you kicked me out and I lived with Lip for a while... he said that... that everything is lost. Well, actually it's what you said, and he told me that you said it, but... Lip said I have no other choice than to move on and start over..."  
Mickey nodded.  
"Did you?"  
"No", he shook his head, "There is no moving on. Not from you. But I thought a lot about his words... Do you think... is there a chance for us to... start over?"

Mickey frowned at him.  
"Start over? What, am I supposed to pretend nothing happened?"   
"No... I guess not. But if there is nothing left to fix, can't you at least let me try to build up something new? Start over."  
"You could fucking start over with any other guy in this city, Ian."   
"I don't want any other guy. I want you. I never wanted someone else, never felt anything for someone else. Caleb was the biggest mistake of my entire fucking life, but I never had feelings for him."

Mickey shook his head and started walking again.   
"Don't just run off, Mick!", Ian called after him before running after him, "I know I burned everything down, okay? I know, I don't deserve your trust or even your faith in me for a second chance. I know... I pushed you away to a point where you...", he swallowed hard, Mickey's words that he was about to paraphrase had been haunting him for the past 18 months, he wasn't sure if he was able to bring the words out, "where you don't... don't love me anymore.", he pressed his eyes together and licked over his bottom lip. 

"Great self-evaluation. I don't have time for your experiments."  
"Mickey", he stopped the man by stopping in front of him, looking down at him, "I'm gonna make you fall in love with me again... if you let me try. I'll regain that trust and we can... start over and build up something new together. Like it used to be before I blew it."

Mickey sighed, "Who says I want that? Who says, I want to fall in love with you again, be with you again, start over with you?"  
"I just hope that", Ian explained sadly, "It's pretty much the only thing I've been holding on to the last year. That, one day, you'll come back and I get a chance to fight, to make it right, to get us back. Just let me try, just this one chance, Mick, please. If not starting over, I've got seven other plans mapped out on how to get you back. One just consists of telling you I love you every day while slowly worming my way into the house, sleeping closer to you an inch per night, going from front porch to bed."  
"That's super creepy."  
"Yeah, I came up with most of these when I was high and didn't sleep for at least 24 hours." 

Mickey sighed and couldn't stop the small smile on his lips.  
"I miss you", he admitted quietly, not looking at his face, "I tried to forget about you but I fucking couldn't. I let everything behind here, and yet I couldn't let you behind. I was so fucking close to call you, text you or even... send you a fucking letter a hundred times, but every time I worked myself up to doing it, I remembered what you did... how that felt... how much it fucking hurt, and I would lie if I'd say it doesn't still hurt."   
"You wrote me a letter?"  
"A few", Mickey shrugged, "My neighbour is a teenage girl that listens to old Taylor Swift songs on repeat, they're quite inspiring actually."

Ian smiled and shook his head, "Will you let me try?", he asked hopefully, "Please? I'm not ready to give up on us."   
Mickey swallowed but, in the end he couldn't resist the man and he knew it, "What would you do to make me fall in love with you again?", he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"I would start with a date. I know you never liked the sitting down in a restaurant kind of date, I would take you on a real date, a good date, but without crowds that could make you uncomfortable."  
"I have no idea what that means."  
"You would have to go on the date with me to figure it out."   
Mickey scoffed, "Smartass. But... I guess I'll stay here for a few days anyways, so I'll give it a shot, I guess... Let's start over", he nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, the first chapter used to be a OneShot on its own. It was supposed to show Mickey finally standing up for himself - everything that you recognised correctly and commented. I'm glad that you understood that.   
> Anyways, I hope that the following chapters don't ruin that leading thought too much. Mickey giving Ian another chance right now, doesn't mean he#s back to forgiving him everything and letting Ian walk over him. 
> 
> Also, Merry Christmas   
> Love, Miriam


	4. We're not good at starting over

Mickey looked over to Ian with a questioning look on his face, it was late, but still bright outside due to it being summer.  
The ginger had stopped his car near the old buildings they used to hang out at.

"I haven't been here in ages", Mickey mumbled while getting out of the car.  
"I come here every once in a while... nice memories... Come this way."  
Ian led them to their building, they climbed the steps to the roof.  
It was a warm evening and on top of the building, where they used to have sex after Ian did his ROTC training back in the day, Ian had set up some kind of picnic.

"A date but without the unnecessary social interactions with waiters and people around you."  
Mickey looked over to the blanket. Ian grinned and sat down on the blanket petting the spot next to him. Mickey sat down as well, and Ian started pulling things out of his backpack.

Beer, boxes with dinner, plates, cigarettes and his phone.  
"I even got a candle in here but I'm gonna wait with that until it's a bit darker."

Ian made them their plates and they sat together and ate on the blanket, while having light small talk, it was less awkward than Mickey imagined, but he was tense though.  
"So, where do you live right now?"  
"Pittsburgh. At first, I moved to Springfield, because of the Simpsons, obviously. Then I stayed with Mandy in Michigan for a bit and now moved to Pittsburgh like 6 months ago."  
"Why Pittsburgh of all places?"  
Mickey shrugged, "You remember that one TV show we watched together? Queer as folk? It's set in Pittsburgh, so I thought, why not?"

Ian smiled at him. "Got a job there?"  
"Yeah, I'm a bartender in a known nightclub in the gay scene there. I'm now very familiar with the work of various Drag Queens and how to mix colourful drinks", he chuckled.  
"Sounds nice.", Ian smiled, it's been so long since he had been able to hear his voice, and he could listen to him just talking about his life forever.

"What about you? Given that you came to the bar in your uniform yesterday, you're still an EMT, huh?"  
"Yeah. But I work in another district, at another station."  
"Why is that?"  
"I asked to be transferred so I wouldn't run into Caleb on the job.", he admitted.

Mickey pressed his lips together, "Why? Were you afraid you would start banging him again if you see him again?"  
"No, but I probably would've tried to beat him up... and failed."  
"Why beat him up? Did he force you to sleep with him even though you were with me?"  
"No", Ian whispered, he hated that they ended up at this topic again, "But he wouldn't stop fucking flirting even though he knew I had a boyfriend, just kept trying to seduce me for a year despite the times I told him no. And in the end, he got me in a weak moment.", he shrugged, "Doesn't matter anyways, I shouldn't have given in to him no matter the circumstances, I know that."

Mickey nodded and looked over the city.  
"Man, we're not very good at this starting over thing, are we?"  
Ian shrugged, "Starting over doesn't mean to pretend our failures didn't happen. We just try to build something new up again, despite our mistakes in the past."  
"Now it's _our_ mistakes?"  
Ian smiled, "I needed four years to get an I love you out of you, two alone to get you to kiss me."  
"And yet I said I love you first.", Mickey teased him.  
"It's not a competition."  
"Oh yeah it was a competition. And I lost actually, by saying it first."  
Ian chuckled, "We were stupid back then."  
Mickey nodded smiling and sipped on his beer.

"Hey, did you move back into the house when I left?"  
"No", Ian shook his head, "I didn't deserve to move back in there yet, you threw me out for a reason, I couldn't just go back. And I could never live there without you anyways."  
"Where do you live now? Lip?"  
"No, I got my own apartment near my workplace."

"Iggy said something weird.", Mickey said after a while, it got darker now and Ian lit the candle he brought, "He said, he drove by the house a couple of times and he could have sworn he saw someone walking around inside."  
"Yeah...", Ian smiled, "I pass the house every day just to check if you came back or something. Sometimes I just... can't resist and go inside, just walk through it a bit, imagine the life we could have... or that we had. Every now and then on a day off I go there just to clean up a bit, make sure nothing is too dusty, so someone could live there again eventually... letting go isn't exactly my strong suit."  
"It isn't mine either", Mickey admitted quietly.

They sat on the rooftop, it was warm and the view over the city was beautiful, they just sat side by side, enjoying being together again. Their conversation just went on lightly, talking about what Mickey has been up to, about Mandy, about Ian's family.

"This is nice", Mickey said eventually, "I always loved the view from this rooftop."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah... we had great sex up here while I had a nice view over the city.", he chuckled, Ian laughed light heartedly.  
"Our sex was always great, we failed a lot of points of relationships, but the sex was always fantastic."  
Mickey grinned, "Well, the sex got me shot by Kash and beat up by my dad, but it was even worth it."

Ian smiled at him, "It's not the sex that made you fall in love with me, right?"  
"No."  
"Good, because something tells me we're not going to do that anytime soon."  
"How did you get that impression?"  
Ian shrugged, "I'm trying to be a big romantic and get you back by being a man you can trust and love. Fucking you into staying with me wouldn't work."  
Mickey nodded.

"So, tonight I'll just drive you home and hope to get a good night kiss, if not that's okay too. Tomorrow we can spend the day together if you want, it's my day off. We can do whatever you want, I'll do everything, even rob a bank or some shit. Just anything that makes you happy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+

A good week later, Mickey was kind of annoyed by Ian.  
He appreciated the efforts the man made just to get him back, but it wasn't really working.  
Ian desperately tried to make Mickey happy, tried to please him in any way possible, did everything Mickey asked and if he didn't ask for something Ian tried to guess what Mickey could want. It drove Mickey crazy.

Right now, they were in Ian's apartment.  
The first time Ian let him in here, the ginger had put all the photos down, because it's very unsuspious when you come into a room and all the photos lie around with the picture down or hang on the wall on the wrong side.  
It took Mickey exactly one minute to be too curious and lift one of the pictures up. Of course, it was an old picture of the two of them. Mickey had smiled at the picture and shook his head at the memory before putting it down again.

Mickey had slept here from yesterday to today and Ian woke him up with sweet kisses and breakfast in bed. He couldn't deal with Ian focusing all his energy on Mickey. Usually his work and family were also in the picture, making the time they had more valuable, calmer, sweeter. Most of the things Ian did seemed forced.

Right now, Ian babbled something about a date in the park, when someone knocked on the door.  
Mickey sighed when Ian got up to answer.  
"Debbs! What are you doing here?"  
"The question is, what are you doing here? You promised to help me today, I'm moving today, and you said, you'd be there. So, are you coming? You know that almost everybody else is working today."  
"Oh fuck... sorry I totally forgot about that", he looked back at Mickey watching the scene from the couch, "But sorry, I can't... Mickey is here and I'm spending the day with him..."  
"What? But you promised to help me, you asshat!"  
"I'm sorry, but Mickey- "

"Oh, fucking hell!", Mickey interrupted him, "Stop doing that Ian! Stop trying to make every second of every day about me, okay?"  
Ian stared at him shocked, he looked downright panicked, panicked Mickey would leave.  
"Ian, I didn't fall in love with you because you showered me with attention every second or because you tried to please me with everything you do. You are a stubborn, pushy but fucking loyal idiot!", he got up and got closer to them, voice a little louder than necessary, "That's the man I fell in love with! You own your shit and aren't a fucking desperate people pleaser, so cut it out, okay? You promised your sister to help her, so you will help her, and then you come back to me and tell me about your hard, annoying day of helping your sister moving and then I kiss you and we have dinner together while watching a crappy movie. I'm not going to love a man who breaks promises and doesn't help his little siblings just to cater to me like a goddamn slave! So, get your shoes and your jacket, it's windy today. I wait here for you and you're not coming back until Debbie is happy."

Ian stared at him for a moment and Debbie stared at him speechless too.  
"Okay", Ian said unsurely, "I'll just change real quick."  
The ginger disappeared in his room.  
Mickey looked at Debbie.

"Wow", she mumbled, "You seemed to have bottled that up for a few days already."  
Mickey shrugged, "He tries to be someone he's not, because he doesn't understand, that I fell in love with him exactly the way he was, with all the little flaws. He'd never let any of you down, that's one of the best things about him."  
Debbie smiled, "I couldn't believe it when Kev said, you're back. So, are the two of you giving it another shot? Are you back together?"  
Mickey just shrugged because he honestly had no idea.

Ian came back and put his shoes and a blue jacket on.  
"You promise, you won't be gone when I come back?", he whispered.  
"I'll wait here for you.", he reassured him.  
Ian nodded, "Okay, see you then", he made a step towards the door, but Mickey grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him back.

The Milkovich kissed his cheek, "Bye"  
A wide, goofy grin spread across Ian's face as he left the apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian came back hours later, he was tired but the thought of coming back home to find Mickey in his apartment made him even happier than the goodbye kiss he got when he left with Debbie.  
He was just slightly anxious Mickey might have actually left while Ian was gone.

The ginger opened the door and sighed relieved. Mickey lay on the couch and watched TV.  
"Hey", he smiled at him.  
"Hey", Ian smiled back and kicked his shoes off, he came over to Mickey, who sat up so Ian could sit next to him.  
"Hard day?", Mickey asked smiling and kissed his cheek.  
"Yeah, Debbie got so much stuff, I don't know where that came from in her small ass room she had before.", he grinned.

This was what Mickey talked about, so much better than Ian treating him like a god walking the earth.  
Mickey sighed and shut the TV off.  
"Ian, this isn't working."

Ian looked at him, he panicked again.  
"Not here, you desperately try to make everything right, but that just leads to you being not yourself and me being annoyed. I think we need to go somewhere, where no one knows us and we can actually start over and be together for a while without the past haunting us", he said and pointed around in the room and to the pictures, "I have to figure out for myself, if this could work again, I can't do this if you act like someone you're not."

Ian swallowed his panic down. At least Mickey didn't say it wouldn't work at all, at least he didn't plan leaving him again.  
"What do you mean exactly?"  
"I have to go back home. I paid my neighbour a few bucks, so she watches my cat but if I let her alone for more than a week, she's probably gonna scratch my eyes out when I sleep."  
"The neighbour or the cat?"  
"The cat."  
"You have a cat?", he asked confused.  
Mickey shrugged, "I need at least someone I can concentrate my soft side on. If it's not Mandy, it's you and if it's not you, it's the cat.", he shrugged.

Ian chuckled, "I can't imagine you with a cat. But I bet she's spoiled."  
"Oh yeah, it's actually her apartment, I just exist to feed her and clean up.", he laughed and shook his head, "Anyways, if you could take a few days off work, you could come with me to Pittsburgh. No one will ask nosey questions about us getting back together or not, and you can be yourself, please, be yourself."  
Ian smiled, "That sounds great actually. I'll call my boss and ask if I can take my vacation so spontaneously."

Mickey nodded and pulled Ian's face to him, kissing him gently. Ian got a lot of gentle kisses in the last days and he loved them, he had missed nothing more than gentle Mickey and his kisses.

"What is your cat's name?", Ian mumbled when Mickey let go of his lips.  
"Demonatrix", he smiled slightly embarrassed. "It's a combination of Dominatrix and Demon"  
Ian looked at him chuckled before kissing him again, "Fucking hell, I love you"


	5. Boyfriend, I guess

It took Ian a lot of chis charm to convince his boss to give him the next two weeks off, but he made it and now Mickey was pulling over into a parking lot in front of his apartment building.

"Is the neighbour you left your cat at the one that listens to Taylor Swift?"  
"Old Taylor Swift songs, yeah. She's nice, but damn greedy."  
Ian grinned and followed Mickey into the building.  
They went to his apartment first and put their bags down near the couch.

Ian looked around in the apartment. It was nice, but definitely cheap. The furniture seemed older than the six months Mickey lived here, but overall the apartment looked cosy and nice.  
"You get the tour later, I gotta get the little Demon."  
"I'll come with you"

Mickey shook his head grinning, it was just next door, but he wouldn't complain.  
The Milkovich knocked on his neighbour's door and after a moment a teenage girl with brown hair opened.  
"Hi, Mr Milkovich, you are back from your trip home.", she smiled and looked at Ian, "And you brought a souvenir. I'll get Demi."

"It's kinda cute that she calls you Mr Milkovich.... Has a nice ring to it"  
Mickey grinned at him and looked back into the apartment, the girl came back holding a black cat in her arms.  
"So here we go", Mickey took the cat from her.  
"Thanks, Lacey. So, I gave you twenty up front, here are the other thirty"  
"Thanks, oh, just one thing. She seemed to like our cat a lot so... in case she isn't sterilised you should maybe take her to the vet soon.", she shrugged and quickly shut the door.

Ian looked at Mickey and started laughing brightly.  
"Shut up, I should've known this would happen.", Mickey sighed and went back into his apartment, "She's a Milkovich after all."  
"And?"  
"And Lacey's cat has red hair.", he smiled at him, "And is Scottish what is way too close to being Irish for the little demon to resist, apparently."

The black cat purred in Mickey's arm and the sight was the most adorable thing Ian had ever witnessed.  
He put the cat on the ground, and she walked around his legs and around Ian's, purring softly, before wandering off.

"Okay, I just spend hours in a hot car, I'll go take a quick shower, alright? Then I can make us something to eat, if you'd like."  
"Sounds great", Ian smiled, "I'll try to befriend the Demon Dominatrix in the meantime."  
"It's Demonatrix!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey came back and smiled at the redhead, he sat on the ground in front of the couch and carefully petted Demonatrix, who sat on the couch as if it belonged to her – it did.  
The Milkovich went into the kitchen and looked through his fridge.

He just came to terms with the fact that he had nothing to eat in his apartment, when the ginger wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.  
"We ain't got any food here", Mickey mumbled.  
Ian kissed his neck, "We can order pizza or something."

Ian pushed his hands under Mickey's shirt while he kept leaving butterfly kisses on the back of his neck.  
"Ian, what are you doing?", he grinned.  
"Kissing you?", he whispered between kisses.  
Mickey turned around in his arms, "Why aren't you doing it right then?", he pulled his head down to him and kissed him passionately.

The last week they shared just cute kisses, gentle kissed, light kisses, but no passionate kisses. Not like this one. Because they both knew if they would start this, they would end up fucking each other's brain out. And that was exactly what Ian said, he wouldn't do.  
But Mickey started it, so Mickey wanted it, so it was okay, right?

The Milkovich pulled Ian closer and they stumbled through the kitchen until they hit the kitchen counters. Ian quickly lifted Mickey up and sat him on the counter, Mickey chuckled into the kiss and wrapped his legs around Ian's waist. He pulled the gingers shirt up and over his head, they needed to separate a second so he could take his shirt off.

"Wait, wait, wait", Ian said quickly and looked at Mickey who panted and looked at him confused, "What are we doing here?"  
"You don't want to?"  
"Of course, I want to, but... should we?"  
"Yeah we should", Mickey nodded, "We're here to start over and just be together. I want you to be yourself towards me, and I want you to fuck me... if you want it too."

Ian pulled Mickey's shirt up as well and threw it somewhere behind him, before smashing their lips together again.  
Lips and tongues clashed together in the heated kiss, while Mickey unbuttoned Ian's jeans and for a moment it was like they've never been apart.

Mickey pushed Ian's jeans down, using his legs when he couldn't reach the fabric with his hands anymore. He had put on some loose fitting sweatpants after his shower, that Ian easily pulled from his legs.  
Mickey was already butt naked and Ian only in his briefs.  
The Milkovich shoved his hands into Ian's briefs while the ginger moved his lips from Mickey's face to his neck, sucking a hickey while the older man grasped his half hard dick.

But behind mickey's eyes images stared to form, images of Caleb and how he and Ian fucked. Pictures that had haunted him since he saw Caleb for the first time, they were coming back now. Mickey's head started to fill with questions, did Ian kiss Caleb like this? Did Ian enjoy fucking Caleb more than him? Had they a better connection? Did Ian all of this with him just because he felt guilty for his affair with Caleb?

Mickey suddenly pulled back and pushed Ian back an inch, holding on to his shoulders, he took a deep breath.  
"What?", Ian asked slightly worried, "Did you change your mind?"  
Mickey shook his head, "Just give me a second.", he whispered.  
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"  
"No, just...", he looked at him shily, "Did you enjoy fucking him more than me?", he mumbled.

Ian stared at him with wide eyes, he sighed, and his look went soft, he cupped Mickey's cheeks.  
"No. Never. I gave in to his flirting because I was drunk, and I went back because I was stressed, and he was just a mindless fuck I could forget my work over. I was just fucking stupid and everything got too much and I didn't know how to handle it... After the first time of giving in to him I felt so awful because I did this disgusting thing to you and I got even more stressed and... I felt worthless, and not deserving of you, because I clearly wasn't ... so I went back to him, because a mindless, stupid fucking mistake equalled my worth at that point. I never preferred him over you, chose him over you, liked him more than you. He is nothing to me."

Mickey closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
Ian stepped closer and hugged him, the Milkovich hugged him back, wrapped his arms and legs around him, holding on to him while hiding his face in the ginger's freckled shoulder.  
"Thanks for telling me that.", he mumbled.  
"You're feeling better?", he whispered and looked him in the eyes again, "You want to stop?"  
Mickey smiled, "I don't want to stop. I want you to throw me on that bed and show me how much you love me."  
Ian smiled brightly at him again.  
"Gladly", he said and pulled Mickey closer, lifting him up from the kitchen counter.

Mickey looked at him surprised and chuckled when Ian kissed him again and carried him over to the bedroom. The ginger occasionally looked to the ground to make sure he didn't step on the cat or something and closed the door to Mickey's bedroom when he was sure the pet wasn't in there.

He threw the Milkovich on the bed and crawled over him.  
Ian still knew his body like the back of his hand. He kissed down his neck, sucked on his sweet spot, moved down on his body, flicking his tongue over his nipple, earning a low groan from Mickey.

The Milkovich was already rock hard, Ian pushed Mickey's legs back and grasped his cock, he smirked up at him before licking the underside of it and sucking on the tip lightly, having the Milkovich groaning louder.  
Ian moved further down and spread the man's ass cheeks, now knowing why Mickey was so keen on taking a shower first thing after being home, he had probably planned to fuck Ian since they got in the car today.

The ginger flicked his tongue over Mickey's hole, before moving closer and licking around it, flicking his tongue inside, sucking on the soft flesh and eventually shoving his tongue inside of him.  
Mickey's loud noises turned him on and encouraged him. The Milkovich had his hands buried in Ian's red hair, messing it up. The ginger eventually covered his fingers in spit and pushed two of them into Mickey, who cursed and threw his head back.

"You haven't been fucked in a while, huh?", Ian mumbled.  
"It's the first time someone fucks me in this bed", he admitted.  
Ian bit his lip in a sexy way while thrusting his fingers in and out of him, "I haven't fucked anyone since you left the city. I only want to have sex with you for the rest of my life."

Ian kept thrusting his fingers in and out of his hole, adding a third one soon, while kissing his thighs and sucking a hickey on the pale skin, before moving his mouth back to Mickey's ass.  
"Fuck this, I'm good Ian, come up here again", Mickey panted.

Ian crawled up to him kissing his way up his body, sucking hickey on his neck.  
"What's up with the hickey's, you're acting like a teenager again", Mickey whispered but had no intentions to stop the Gallagher.  
"You make me as horny as a teenager again", he grinned, and Mickey leaned up to kiss his lips while opening a drawer next to the bed and blindly grabbing two items. Ian got rid of his briefs and took the condom from Mickey, applying it quickly and coating his length in lube.

Ian kissed Mickey again, gentlier this time, while easing himself into the other man.  
Mickey moaned against Ian's lips and the ginger deepened the kiss and started thrusting into him.  
He listened carefully to his partners moans and groans while picking up his pace and thrusting into him harder.

Mickey had one hand between them around his cock, jerking himself off to Ian's thrusts, the other hand pulled on Ian's red hair. The Gallagher held on to Mickey while fucking into him.  
He had missed this, being close to Mickey, feeling him all around him, hearing his voice, his moans, smelling his scent. He had enjoyed just being close to him the past week, taking him on cute dates, getting soft kisses, sleeping with him in one bed. But Mickey had been right, he hadn't been himself, he had tiptoes around Mickey, trying to read every wish from his lips.

Now they were finally connected again, finally really together, maybe not fully like they had been for the past years of happiness, but more than the last two years of pure misery.  
It was like they've never been apart, like Ian never fucked up and never tore them away from each other. It was just pure lust and emotion and the want and need of being together.

Ian lifted Mickey's hips up a bit to get better access, thrusting into him in slightly different angles until he heard a familiar high pitched moan and whimper, making Ian chuckle while he kept thrusting up into that point. He occupied his lips with Mickey's neck, so he was able to hear the Milkovich moan away underneath him.

"Fuck, Ian, 'm comin'", he mumbled, and Ian was close too.  
He kept hitting the spot over and over, kissing Mickey passionately when the older man came all over his hand, moaning loudly into Ian's mouth. He clenched around him what sent him over the edge as well, coming deep inside of him, inside the condom.

Ian collapsed on top of Mickey, panting heavily.  
Mickey grinned and pressed a kiss on the gingers neck.  
After a minute, Ian sat up and threw the condom in the trash before taking a tissue to wipe the remaining cum off of both their bodies. He took Mickey's cum stained fingers to his mouth, licking and sucking them clean, Mickey bit his lip at the sight.

The Ginger eventually lay next to him in the bed smiled at the ceiling.  
"That was better than I remembered", Mickey mumbled and lay his head on Ian's shoulder, who wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead.

"Ian?", Mickey whispered after a while.  
"Yeah?"  
"You aren't worthless, you know that right? You don't equal a stupid mistake."  
Ian smiled sadly, "I try to be better, but that is what I was when I cheated on you and what I was the last year. I try to make everything better and be a better man, be who you deserve and... be a man who deserves you."

Mickey smiled, "You deserve a lot better than seeing yourself as worthless."  
"I don't deserve your trust or your love... and those two things are what I intend to get back. Piece by piece, no matter how long it might take or what I have to do."  
Mickey kissed his shoulder, "Just be yourself while you do that, alright? Be the stubborn little fucker I fell in love with."  
Ian nodded and kissed his forehead again, "I'm gonna be fucking stubborn on this.", he promised grinning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were in a relationship with someone for a long time, breaking out of your couple routine after a breakup was hard. Ian and Mickey had spent almost every night with each other, sleeping in another's arms, cuddling up to a warm body and feeling safe and protected in their happiness bubble for roughly six or seven years.

Sleeping without Mickey in a big bed was torture for Ian.  
It hadn't been so bad on Mickey, since he had experienced the torture part of Ian slipping away and even sleeping further away from him, when they were still together. But sleeping alone in his bed, thinking Ian would never ever be the one he could cuddle up to, was extremely hard though.

The really bad part was waking up.  
Ian hated waking up to an empty, cold bed, no one there to kiss and to wake up with in the early hours of a long day. Mickey hated being woken up by anything else than the Gallagher.

Now, after one and a half years of living apart, Mickey woke up due to soft kisses being pressed on his neck. He felt a warm body cuddled up to him, a warm hand on top of his.  
Ian's lips wandered down his neck to his shoulder. He was gentle and probably still tired himself, their legs were tangled into each other and Mickey could feel an erection being pressed into his ass.

The Milkovich grinned and turned around in Ian's arms, pecking his lips.  
"You're excited for so early in the morning", he whispered.  
"Had a nice dream", he half shrugged.  
"I can feel how nice it was"  
"You have no idea", he mumbled smiling and Mickey kissed him again.

They shared short, sweet kisses, getting more playful by the minute.

Ian had his arm wrapped around Mickey and slowly wandered down his cool skin until his hand reached Mickey's boxers and he started pushing them down.  
Mickey grinned and took Ian's wrist, pulling his hand away, so the ginger instead intertwined their fingers, holding Mickey's hand tightly in his.  
He pulled away from the kiss just to press his lips shortly on the back of Mickey's hand.  
Mickey smiled and kissed Ian again, slowly lying on his back and pulling Ian on top of him.

Mickey had his one hand in Ian's hair and was about to push Ian's boxer shorts down his legs, when someone started knocking on his door.  
Mickey looked in the direction of the bedroom door.  
"Do you have to get that?", Ian sighed, "It's probably just your neighbour complaining about the noise from last night."  
"No, the one who lives on the other side of this wall, is deaf. And Lacey and I have a deal about not complaining about noises."

The knocking on the front door wouldn't stop.  
"Okay, get down from me, looks like I have to check who is there."  
Ian groaned annoyed and rolled down from Mickey.

The Milkovich grinned and quickly pulled a pair of sweatpants and a shirt on that lay on the ground before walking to the apartment door.  
He opened up to a tall, buff guy who was averagely attractive.  
"Hey Markus"  
"Mickey, hey, I didn't wake you up, did I?"  
"No, no you didn't", Mickey reassured him, "What's up?"  
"Oh, I've got this package for you, the mailman dropped it off at my place while you were gone. Lacey said, you're back."

Mickey took the package from Markus, "Thanks man."  
"So, how was Chicago? Had fun with your brother and stuff?"  
"Yeah...", Mickey actually just wanted to go back to Ian and his warm bed, but Markus wasn't someone he wanted to piss off, since they worked together a lot, "Met some old friends. It was fun."  
"Cool, when are you coming back to work?"  
"Uhm, Friday, I think."  
"Oh, alright. I was wondering... if you would like to... go grab a drink with me or something sometime... you could tell me more about your family and stuff..."

Mickey raised his eyebrows at him and tried to think of a quick way to get rid of him without pissing him off too much and making it awkward at work.  
"Babe", Ian's voice appeared behind him suddenly and two freckled arms wrapped themselves around Mickey's waist, "When are you coming back to bed?"  
That to it not going to be awkward at work.

Ian looked at Markus.  
"Hi, I'm Ian", he rested his head on Mickey's shoulder, "His Lover."  
"A drama queen, that's what you are", Mickey chuckled and kissed his cheek, "Go back to bed, I'll be there in a minute."  
"Okay, but hurry up, the cat already took over your side of the bed."  
"You got that wrong, it's her bed. She's just so kind to let us sleep there", Mickey smiled.  
Ian grinned and kissed his cheek before going back to the bedroom.

Markus stared after him, "That's your boyfriend, I guess?", he asked quietly.  
Mickey looked through the room to his bedroom where he could spot the ginger on his bed, playing with the black cat.  
"Yeah, my boyfriend. I guess.", he smiled, "Sorry, Markus, I need to go back. See you at work, alright?"  
"Yeah, sure. Sorry to bother you. Bye"

Mickey closed the door and walked back to his bedroom.  
Demonatrix lay on Ian's chest now.  
"Who was that?"  
"Just Markus. He lives here in the house he's a bouncer at the club I'm working at. Quite soft for a bouncer if you ask me, but he looks the part, so it works out", he shrugged.  
"He likes you"  
"Yeah, he dropped some hints towards that topic. But he's not my type", he smiled and kissed Ian again.

He lay next to him and looked at his boyfriend and his cat.  
"You shouldn't have her on you like this without a shirt on, she's gonna scratch you more than I do during sex."  
"No, she likes me. See, we're already best friends."  
Mickey chuckled, "She usually doesn't like anyone. She hates Mandy."  
Ian just smiled at the cat and shook his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks went by like nothing. It was exactly what they had needed, they went on fun dates and spend time together just eating pizza in front of the TV. They got to know each other all over again, they created their own little heaven in Pittsburgh. But Ian had to go back home.

"I promise to text you every day", he mumbled when they were at the train station Ian would use to get back to Chicago.  
"Okay", Mickey smiled, "It's not so long until we see each other again, I'm sure I can drive up to Chicago every once in a while, on your off days. I can just leave the Demon with Lacey, so she can keep up her affair with the red cat."  
"Sounds great. Do I get a kiss up here in public?"  
Mickey looked around and saw Ian's train arriving, "Just a small peck. Gonna let you hungry for more."  
Ian grinned "I'm always hungry for more from you", he pecked his lips shortly, but of course Mickey couldn't resist to kiss him properly for their goodbye, until Ian had to get into his train.  
"Bye, fire crotch"


	6. Done

**Five and a half months later.**

Ian was sitting in the Alibi, grinning from ear to ear.  
"So, everything works out with you and Mickey?", Kevin asked.  
"Yeah... I mean, we're still in the experimental starting-over-phase. Of course, it's gonna take years to get back to where we were and he can fully trust me again. But it's great though. We're really getting to a point where I can sincerely hope, that it's gonna be like it used to again."  
"Would that mean you would move to Pittsburgh?"  
Ian shrugged, "I always hoped we would move back into the Milkovich house. But I guess we'll have to see how the whole thing goes."

His phone in his pocket vibrated and Ian was almost annoyed when he pulled it out until he saw the caller ID: Mickey.

"Hey, Mick, what's up?"  
"Hey, uhm, listen, I'm sorry, but I can't come over on Wednesday."  
"What, why?"  
"Demonatrix had her kittens a few days ago. I've got an apartment full of cats and I can't just leave them alone."  
"She had her kittens?", Ian smiled, earning a weird look from Kevin, "So soon?"  
"What do you mean soon? Aren't nine weeks of a pregnant cat enough? As soon as she's better I'm so gonna give her an earful on getting knocked up by that Scottish Casanova from next door. However, I can't come over. I need to help Demon with the babies and need to find people who will take them."

"Take them?", Ian asked, "You want to give her babies away? You can't do that Mick, they're gonna miss their mom."  
"They're cats, not Gallaghers."  
Ian rolled his eyes, "I can come over. You wanted to come on my off days, I can just take a train to Pittsburgh and help you with the kittens while I persuade you into not giving them away."  
"You don't have to come over, Army...", he could hear the Milkovich smiling through his words.  
"Don't flatter yourself, I want to see the baby cats, Mick!"  
Mickey chuckled, "Okay, okay, you can come over."  
"Good, I'll take the next train after my shift ends on Tuesday. Oh, and can you send me a picture of the kittens?"  
"Of course,", Mickey grinned, "See you then"

Ian ended the call and grinned at Kevin.  
"Kittens?", Kevin asked.  
Ian smiled and nodded, "Mickey's cat has a hot love affair with his neighbour's cat. Now she got her kittens."  
"Mickey has a cat?"  
"Yeah", Ian nodded, "I know, I couldn't it believe at first either. But he needs someone he can shower with love and affection. That used to be me, now it's the cat."  
Kevin chuckled, "You got replaced by a cat?"  
"It's okay, she's a cute cat. Fucking spoiled because Mickey has a soft spot for her, but cute."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian arrived very late on Tuesday, it was already night and dark.  
He knocked on Mickey's door and already heard loud meowing from inside.  
"Yeah, god, calm down", he heard Mickey's voice next and grinned when Mickey opened the door carefully.  
"Hey Mick"  
Mickey smiled relieved, "Hi, okay, you need to come in very quickly, because one of them tries to run outside the whole time, and careful that you don't step on them with your big ass feet."  
Ian chuckled and got inside the apartment quickly.

A horde of four baby kittens waddled through the living room.  
"Aw, my god, they're so cute.", Ian mumbled.  
"No, they were cute when they were blind and just lay around with Demon. Now they started walking and I'm close to freaking out."  
"Aw, Mick, calm down, look how adorable they are!", he sat on the ground and lured one of the kittens to him.  
"Adorable? I'm an old cat lady now, Ian. I've got five cats", he sighed and sat across from him.

"You really want to give them away?"  
"Well, these two", he pointed at the two kittens that stumbled over the floor and fell over once in a while, making Ian giggle at them, "Are going over to Lacey. She wanted them and I guess they're partly hers, so whatever."  
"Do they have names?"  
"Yeah, Peralta and Boyle. Lacey named the two and she's a big fan of Brokelyn99. Her Cat's name is actually Captain Holt."

Ian nodded and took the other two kittens in his big hands. They were so small that each one fully fitted into one hand when they curled up in themselves.  
"That's Bloody Mug. And that's Bloody Cup. Or the other way round, I'm always confusing them, hence the similar name."  
Ian chuckled.  
"Are you serious? That's what you called your baby kittens?"  
Mickey shrugged, "I like the names. And if I sell them, people can rename them anyways."

Ian handed Bloody Cup to Mickey and brought bloody Mug closer to his face, eyeing the small animal.  
"She's so adorable. What if I take them instead? I can take Bloody Mug and Bloody Cup and you don't have to sell them to a total stranger."  
"You want to keep them?"  
"I want to keep them", Ian nodded, "Better than you selling them off."

Mickey smiled and sat Bloody Cup on the ground to go and play with her siblings and moved closer to Ian, he placed himself carefully in his lap and kissed his cheek.  
"Or... we keep them."  
Ian looked at him surprised.  
"I'm done with the experimental phase, Ian. I want to move back into our house, and I want to be with you officially and properly again. Not like nothing ever happened, but like something happened and we worked it out."

Ian looked at him and tears started to form in his eyes, he closed them quickly and kissed Mickey passionately.  
Mickey smiled into the kiss.  
"Hey, don't cry, Gallagher", he whispered and rubbed his tears away gently.  
"I'm just happy", he whispered and gave him a smile full of hope.  
Mickey smiled back, "I love you"  
"I love you too", he whispered and kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end  
> Thanks for reading 
> 
> And just so we're clear about the timelines here  
> It took Mickey 6 Months to fall out of love with Ian and break up with him.  
> It took Ian 6 Months to make Mickey fall in love with him again.


End file.
